Peep
by IPP
Summary: Advice from a little yellow bird? Nah. That could never cause something like this. PrussiaXAustria. Oneshot.


**Peep**

by **icypinkpop**

Pairing: Eventual Prussia/Austria

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. Bah, humbug.

Author's Note/Warnings: Here's a nice Christmas Eve treat for all of you! -tosses candy canes around-

I've been a pretty big fan of this particular couple for awhile now, just because it makes a lot of sense to me. However, that doesn't stop them from being hard to write convincingly. Very, very hard.

Anyways, let me know how you liked this little piece of work. Warnings include initial heterosexual and eventual homosexual flirtation, a few curse words here and there, and overall lewdness on Prussia's part. Enjoy!

--

--

Humming softly to himself as slid his fingertips over the ivory piano keys, Roderich Edelstein let a small smile tug at the corners of his lips. Finally, he had some time to himself. Recently, his days had been taxing to say the least; personal engagements, World Conferences, other arrangements. All were taking up time. On a both relieving and slightly melancholy note, his and Elizaveta's divorce papers had also been finalized the week before.

Roderich noted with annoyance that this particular development would have been far less stressful had it not brought about the constant presence of someone he most definitely didn't care for.

As if on cue, a crash sounded out from down the hallway, and Roderich removed his hands from the keys just in time to hear shouts and cries from nearby. He rubbed his temples, standing and looking into the corridor as his newly-ex wife staggered from her guest bedroom, striking a silver-haired male over the head with what appeared to be a magazine.

"Get away from me, you pervert!" Elizaveta shouted, pigtails swinging as she gave her assaulter a rather vicious kick to the shins. "Leave me alone! Go molest someone else!"

Seemingly undeterred, the pale-skinned man continued to advance on her, making an obvious effort not to appear too hurt. "Aw, c'mon baby! Forget about that loser! You're single now!" he shouted, smirking and crossing his arms over his chest. "You can't resist the awesome, can you?"

Aware that any hope of restoring the momentary peace had just gone out the window, Roderich shook his head, making his way over to slide himself between his glaring ex-wife and smug-looking enemy. "I suggest you leave," he said shortly, violet eyes narrowed as he pointed an accusing finger at the red-eyed annoyance. "I don't suppose I have to remind you that this is my house?"

"Oh, grow some balls, Specs." A flick was sent to the rim of Roderich's glasses, leaving the brunet nation more than a little enraged. Chuckling, Gilbert once again attempted to sneak towards Elizaveta, only to be stopped again. He blinked. "Hey, stop being such a girl! No wonder she didn't want you."

Gilbert had no time to gloat further before a palm smacked swiftly into the side of his face.

"Leave!" Roderich shouted, raising his voice in an uncharacteristic display of anger. "Your intentions with Elizaveta are your own business, but I will not allow you to disrespect her or myself in my home! Now, if you will remove yourself!"

Panting softly, the brunet set his mouth in a line and narrowed his eyes, refusing to back down. He was upset over Gilbert's treatment of his ex, of course, but the assault on his masculinity had been more than uncalled for. Honestly, where did the man get the idea he could talk to him that way? The nerve!

A flash of surprise and something that looked oddly like intrigue gleamed in the antagonist's ruby eyes, and Gilbert simply stood there, staring at Roderich with a surprisingly level look. However, before the brunet could bat an eye, his enemy was back to his accustomed stance, lips twisted into a smirk.

"Pssh, whatever, four-eyes," the blond snickered, waving a dismissive and arrogant hand at the Austrian's face. "Maybe I should come back when it's not your time of the month." Turning his attention to Elizaveta, he winked and blew a kiss at the glaring Hungarian, only to find himself shoved against the wall by a female hand. He winced. "Okay, okay! I'll go already, jeeze…"

Gilbert couldn't get out the door fast enough before Roderich slammed it in his face and locked the deadbolt, staring at the floor with a flush over his cheeks.

Sighing heavily, the ruffled Austrian stepped away and looked down at his ex-wife, embarrassed over his own lack of control. When had he become so affected by that Prussian bastard, anyways? It was as if his resentment had been building up over the years, and had only now decided to spill out all at once. "I-I'm sorry," he started, only to be silenced by Elizaveta's wry smile.

"Nah. Thanks for getting rid of him," she said with a chuckle and a shake of the head, touching Roderich's shoulder for a moment before moving back towards her bedroom. Somewhat mollified, the brunet resumed his seat upon the piano bench, head bowed and shame obvious over his cheeks.

Hands returning to the keys, Roderich picked up where he had left off, oblivious to the sneaky grin that had appeared over Elizaveta's face.

--

"I just don't understand it, Gilbird," the Prussian murmured as he paced back and forth over the messy floors of his bedroom, eyes affixed upon the carpet. Halting for a moment, he turned to the tiny yellow bird that was sat upon his bed, giving it his undivided attention. "What do you think? I mean, I'm _manly _enough for her, right? I mean, of course I am!" He flexed his arms, smirking. "Look at these muscles!"

The silence from the nearby creature seemed to indicate that it didn't disagree.

Taking the lack of vocalized opposition as a confirmation, Gilbert grinned and sat down upon the bed, scooping up his feathered friend into his palms and gazing at him purposefully. "You always listen to me, little buddy," he said fondly, running a gloved finger over the little yellow head with a gentleness unusual for his accustomed state of behavior. "I'm totally sexy. I just need to give it an extra push, or something. Show her I really want her…" Staring intently, he gave the tiny bird an affectionate stroke, setting it on his knee. "Any ideas? What should I do?"

For a moment, Gilbird said nothing. Seconds later, however, the tiny beak opened, only to emit a single syllable that brought the bird's owner a flash of realization.

"Peep."

"…genius!" A wide smirk spreading over his features, the excited Prussian set his friend down upon the bed, hands clenched into excited fists before his face. "You're the best, Gilby! I'll see you later!"

With a shout of exultation, Gilbert fled the room, leaving a confused, wide-eyed chick in his wake.

--

Perfect…

Elizaveta thought to herself as she went through her photo albums, extracting a picture of interest with a smirk. Certainly, her husband would hate her for doing this, but the event she had planned was simply inevitable, and she wasn't going to prolong it any further. They'd fight, they'd fight some more, and then they'd kiss and make up. They might even make out. It could take awhile, but she was certain it would happen.

And hopefully, she'd get to watch every step of the way.

Slipping the photograph into the pocket of her apron, she stood and made her way towards the other side of the bedroom, thankful that Roderich was playing piano in the other room and thereby oblivious to what she had planned. Heading towards the phone on the nightstand, she caught a flash of movement in the corner of her eye and blinked, turning. What…?

Shrugging it off, she continued her path over the carpet, only to once again spot a glimpse of color from the side. Brightening in realization, she rolled her eyes and smiled at the same time, emotions mixed. She knew what was going on, and it was annoying as hell. But it saved her a phone call and a trip, after all.

"I know you're here, you idiot," she said loudly, crossing her arms and turning towards the bedroom window. "You can't hide forever."

--

Damn it!

Inwardly cursing at the fact he had been found out, Gilbert moved away from the glass, pouting visibly. Not only had peeping in on Elizaveta been a tempting prospect, but the ever-wise Gilbird had suggested it, too! His plan was foiled!

Sighing as Elizaveta approached the window and raised an annoyed eyebrow at him through the glass, he looked up with wide red eyes as the barrier between them was raised, putting on his usual lecherous grin.

"I figured I'd come see you since that idiot ex-husband of yours didn't let you get the full scope of my awesomeness last time," he said smugly, standing back and crossing his arms over his chest. Inwardly sighing as he was met with the usual irritated glance, he kept up his façade, hoping it might prove to work despite its numerous failures in the past.

"You need to forget about me, Gilbert," Elizaveta told him sternly, crushing any wishful hope that the brunette beauty might fall seduced from the window and into his arms. Dejected and unable to keep it from showing, the blond turned to leave when he caught sight of a grin on the Hungarian's face, stopping in his tracks. Maybe Elizaveta had changed her mind?

"But," she began, smirking and tossing a sheet of what appeared to be paper down to where he stood. "I have another girl you might be interested in."

Confused, Gilbert reached out and caught the piece of paper in his hands, eyes widening. Upon further inspection, it appeared to be a photograph of someone bending over, someone with only a rear end and hips visible beneath a pair of tiny pink shorts. Intrigued, he brought it closer to his face, red orbs growing in size. Damn! Maybe Elizaveta wasn't the only hot chick out there after all!

"Interested?" Before he could reply, the brunette waved her finger at the picture, smirking in an almost boyish fashion. "Turn it over. Her number's on the back."

Gilbert almost would have been suspicious had his mind not been occupied with thoughts of what might lurk beneath the undergarments shown in the photograph.

Grinning to himself, he gave Elizaveta an enthused parting wave and took off in the opposite direction, eyes glued to the snapshot all the while. There was no doubt in his mind. Any girl with hips like that had to be totally awesome.

Shaking her head and letting out a soft, girlish laugh, the Hungarian slid her window shut and sat down in the armchair close by, eyes twinkling with mischief.

--

Humming softly to himself, Roderich slipped his glasses from the bridge of his nose, placing them in their accustomed spot on the nightstand and sliding into his pajamas. He squirmed a bit, somewhat glad that Elizaveta had slept in a different room since their divorce. Not that the woman didn't know his habits inside and out, but with the earlier assault on his manhood, his chosen nightgown, for all its lacy comfort, seemed less appealing than usual.

Sliding into bed and laying his head upon the pillow, Roderich slowly shut his eyes and turned onto his side, comfortable and relaxed. His day had been hectic and stressful, thanks to that albino idiot, and he was more than happy to be getting some sleep. Tongue running over his lower lip, he reached out slowly with the intention to retrieve his glass of water from the nightstand, fingers closing in around the cup as-

BUZZ!

Yelping out in a rather undignified manner, Roderich did his best not to tumble from the bed, wincing as he lost hold on the glass and water slopped over his front. Replacing the glass upon its coaster, he wiped futilely at the cold streams that were now dripping down over his chest and towards his unmentionables, blushing.

Where had that noise come from?

Blinking as it came to his attention once more, he spotted a flash of light from the other side of the room and stood, making his way over and taking the source of the gleam into his palm. Squinting to discern the letters over the front, he tilted his head to the side a bit in confusion, reading the blinking words he saw upon the screen.

"One new text message…?"

Returning to the bed and sitting down upon the side, the Austrian inspected the message with more than a little surprise. He had only recently even consented to having a cell phone, for emergency purposes over anything else. Who could trying to contact him? One of his allies, perhaps? He inwardly hoped nothing terrible had happened.

Clicking the 'Read' button, he peered at the annoyingly bright digital screen, putting a hand to his lips in shock at the message that looked back.

'Hey, sexy.'

Cheeks flushing deeply, Roderich gazed stunned at the words, startled to say the least. Who in the world would even think to send him such a thing?! Elizaveta? No…the sender was listed under a private number. Besides, he and his ex-wife both knew that there had never really been that…well…passion he always heard so much about.

He flushed.

Uncertain of what to do but sure that such an enigma would eat at him if he didn't address it immediately, the brunet swallowed dryly and slowly clicked his fingers over the keypad, idly wondering how exactly he could use his hands so expertly on a piano and still type so clumsily when it came to a cell phone.

'Who are you?' he typed and sent the message off into cyberspace, half convinced this entire occurrence was some sort of sham. How would anybody outside his normal circle of acquaintances manage to obtain his number, anyhow? And, perhaps more quizzically, why would anyone have reason to think of him in such a…lusty manner?

BUZZ. Wincing again, Roderich accepted the new message, apprehensive as to what it would say. "Got your number from a…friend?" he murmured to himself, reading aloud. What friend? He was certain Elizaveta wouldn't give his number to anyone suspicious.

No, of course she wouldn't.

Nevertheless, the brunet found himself far too nervous to reply to the odd message, and decided to clear his curiosity as much as possible. Sliding from the bed, he turned on the light and stepped out of the room, knocking gently on Elizaveta's bedroom door and blushing as her sudden presence made him painfully aware of his embarrassing nightgown.

"Roderich?" the Hungarian asked, head cocked in what appeared to be confusion. "Why are you up so late?"

"…I didn't mean to wake you," he began, noticing her wide-eyed look. "Elizaveta…did you, by chance, give…my telephone number to anybody? Like…" Roderich had the creeping feeling his blush was getting deeper as a realization settled upon him. "Like…a bachelorette, perhaps?"

The initially surprised look on Elizaveta's face immediately relieved Roderich of his suspicions. However, moments later, a feminine hand raised itself to her lips, and she giggled, effectively returning the embarrassment to the Austrian's already flushed countenance.

"I'm sorry, Roderich, but I thought it might help you," she laughed softly, shaking her head a little. Her eyes darted downwards towards the phone in the Austrian's hand before returning to their previous position. "I just found somebody I thought would be perfect for you, and I didn't want you to be lonely. I know your phone isn't activated for actual phone calls yet, but I figured if they sent you a message…oh, I'm sorry!" she gasped, green eyes large and apologetic. "I didn't mean to do anything wrong!"

Shaking his head slowly and looking back down at the phone, Roderich blushed softly and swallowed the lump in his throat, almost frightened by the fact that he was actually considering the possibility of replying to the stranger. However, his ex-wife knew him better than anyone, and he knew she wouldn't try to do him any harm. Perhaps…he would give it a shot.

"It's all right, Eliz," he reassured, giving a soft yet uncertain smile. He couldn't honestly think of anybody he had ever felt passionate about before, but Elizaveta seemed to have his best interests in mind. Perhaps this mystery woman would be different from most. "I…thank you. Good night."

As he returned to bed and slipped beneath the comforter with phone in hand, Roderich felt his heart flutter, violet eyes wide and breath caught in his throat. For a moment, it sounded as though a string of giggles rang out from down the corridor, but he easily convinced himself that his excited state was causing him to hear things, and he returned his attention to the phone, flushed and focused.

--

"C'mon, come onnnnn…"

Pouting, Gilbert sat himself up against the headboard of his rather messily-made bed, momentarily looking over at the little yellow bird beside him and pointing to the screen. "She won't answer me, Gil! I bet she's playing hard to get. Girls that look like that always play hard to-"

BEEP.

Gasping at the sudden sound, the blond turned back to his small phone and grinned at it, chuckling as Gilbird echoed the ringtone with a chirp of his own. Staring at the new message, he widened his eyes in disbelief, rubbing his hands together. "She wants to meet me!" he practically shouted, hips thrusting forward in a victorious motion as he pumped a pale fist into the air. "Yes! I knew I was sexy enough!"

With a few clicks of his thumbs, he smirked and sat back, sending off another message complete with a few digital hearts.

"She'll totally fall for me," he told his pet matter-of-factly, allowing the bird to hop onto his chest and gazing up at it with a smirk. "But you might have to sleep in your cage for the night instead of in bed with me, Gil. 'Cause you know…with my awesome handsomeness, she might want to go straight to the bed as soon as she gets here." How could anybody not, he added mentally, raising a lecherous eyebrow.

Irresistibility was definitely part of his charm.

Another beep caught the Prussian's attention, and he snatched the phone from its place on his lap, leer growing in size by the minute. "Date set!" he said gleefully as he pressed the 'Send' button one final time and lay back onto his bed with a grunt, shutting off the light and letting his eyes slide closed. He could hardly believe his luck. But then again, he was pretty awesome, wasn't he?

"Sleep well, little guy," he breathed and turned onto his side, drifting off with a grin over his mouth.

"I've got a hot date tomorrow night."

--

--

"E-Elizaveta…"

"Hush Roderich," the brunette chastised softly, smoothing the lavender lapels into place. "You did ask me to help, you know."

The Austrian winced. By asking for assistance with his choice of outfit for his date that night, he hadn't intended to find himself shoved into a woman's bedroom and preened from head to toe without permission. Something as simple as helping him select a color for his suit probably would have sufficed.

"There we are." Seemingly satisfied with her progress thus far, the Hungarian clasped her hands together for a moment, nodding with approval. Shifting a bit, Roderich observed his reflection in the full-length mirror, somewhat puzzled.

It was…pink. Well, perhaps not pink exactly, but it was close enough. Not that he particularly minded that color, but it seemed somewhat strange to him that this shade was being chosen for a romantic outing with a woman. It seemed somewhat girly in itself.

"A-Are you sure this looks all right, Eliz?" he asked quietly, blushing a bit and turning to the side as he studied his reflection. Yes, his initial suspicions had been correct. The suit was definitely on the feminine side, with its round, soft pink buttons and unnaturally tight…lower bits. However, any hope that he might wheedle his way out of wearing such a thing was crushed by the Hungarian's vehement nod, as well as the return of female hands to the lapels of his jacket.

"Yes! You look wonderful," she promised, smoothing Roderich's collar and tugging on the edges as if attempting to make it perfect. Deciding he might as well make the best of what he had to work with, the Austrian spied his jar of hair styling serum on the nearby table, reaching out to take it under the pretense of applying his usual slicked style to his dark brown locks.

However, for the umpteenth time that afternoon, his hands were stopped in their tracks by a firm grip and feminine shake of the head.

"Leave it how it is," Elizaveta urged, practically forcing his hands away from the hair gel. As if to embarrass him further, she whipped a small comb from her apron pocket and set about brushing his bangs into place. Roderich let out a sigh, relieved that she had at least taken care to avoid Mariazell.

"Eliz-"

"Shh."

Mentally shrugging, the Austrian allowed his ex-wife to have her way, wondering why she seemed so very excited to help him prepare for his outing. He took a shy glimpse at his reflection again, feeling uncomfortable. He had been on very few romantic excursions in his lifetime, and he had never, ever expected to go out on one looking the way he now did. He personally thought he looked rather undignified with his hair down, but again…he figured Elizaveta's judgment was something he should put some trust in.

Roderich cast his eyes down at his shoes in thought. He wondered what this mystery date would be like. Throughout the course of his life, the brunet had never really given much thought to romance and the like, and he had more than a few times pondered the nature of his sexuality. It wasn't as though he didn't find women attractive, but honestly, he had never allowed himself to think very deeply into the possibility of being with…well, another man.

The Austrian flushed, afraid even to let that idea roll about in his mind.

Allowing Elizaveta to put the finishing touches on his hair, Roderich successfully managed to squirm away, brushing off his front and taking a momentary glance at the wall clock. "I think I should go," he commented, only to widen his eyes at the sudden, intense grin from his Hungarian housemate. Unnerved, he tugged a bit at the bottom of his coat and thanked her for her help, only to find himself enclosed in a tight, affectionate hug.

"You're welcome," she said happily, pulling away and placing her hands on Roderich's upper arms as she practically shoved him down the hall. Giving a final wave as he was pushed onto the doorstep, the Austrian swallowed dryly and made his way towards his car, wondering what exactly he was getting into.

--

Rubbing his hands together with excitement, Gilbert stood out in front of the restaurant with his chest puffed out, doing his best to impress whoever it was that had agreed to meet him there. He wasn't all that sure what his date looked like due to the rather ambiguous nature of the photograph, but hey, with an ass like that, surely he'd spot her from a mile away, wouldn't he?

Certain that he would indeed, the Prussian smirked to himself, red eyes darting about.

Foot tapping a bit on the pavement as he waited, Gilbert amused himself by casting a glance down at his clothing, satisfied that he looked good. After all, who could resist black silk, especially when it made up the entirety of his pants and hugged him in all the right places? Even West would be jealous. He cackled to himself, entertained by the thought of his brother's countenance furrowed with envy at just how sexy he looked.

Snapped from his reverie by the sound of shuffling feet, the Prussian blinked and turned his head, catching sight of a person struggling to make their way past his scope of vision and into the restaurant through the doors. Eyes immediately focusing in on the tight, lavender pants, he slid two fingers between his lips and let out a loud, whooping whistle, far too enthralled by the sight of the hourglass hips and toned rear end to notice the remainder of the stranger's formal apparel.

The figure froze, slowly turning around.

Violet eyes met red, and it was all Gilbert could do to prevent himself from taking a step back in shock, self-assured expression effectively replaced by one of surprise.

"H-hey, what are you doing here, you priss?!" he eventually managed to get out, pointing an accusing finger at Roderich. What had he just done?! This was that Austrian idiot, after all!

…but seriously, how had he never noticed that the piano-player had a waist like that?

Cheeks colored by a burst of pink akin to the color in which he was clad, the brunet male strode up, eyes narrowed. "Me?!" he asked, gripping softly at the bottom of his coat. "It's…none of your business!"

"Pssh." Waving him off, the Prussian tried to keep back his shock, casting a furtive glance in the direction of Roderich's vital regions. Seriously, how had he missed that all those years?! He had known the annoying aristocrat for what felt like forever and a day, and somehow he'd never quite realized just how curvy he was.

Gilbert widened his eyes. What was he thinking?! He had a hot date to find, after all.

"I don't suppose you'd mind making yourself scarce," the prim voice reached his ears again, and the blond sent an annoyed look in the direction of its source. "I'm…expecting somebody and I'd rather not be seen talking to such an atrocious person."

Surprised to say the least, the Prussian turned to his adversary and snickered, momentarily brushing off his previous discomfort. "Expecting somebody? Yeah, right." He laughed loudly. "What's with the outfit, Specs? Elizaveta using you as a model for female business wear? Or does it just make you feel sexy to walk around looking like a pansy?" Not that the clothing wasn't rather fitting for Roderich's body type, but-

Wait! No! What the Hell was he thinking?!

"I-I'm meeting a lady friend," the brunet finally admitted, violet eyes cast down in a manner that made Gilbert realize that he wasn't in the mood to fight with him this time. "So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't affiliate yourself too closely with me right now."

Lady friend. That was more than a little surprising. Raising an eyebrow in near disbelief, the Prussian let out a low chuckle, smirking. "Yeah, right! As if any girl would be interested in your prissy ass."

"I'm serious!"

"Well, I'm meeting one too!" Gilbert flashed a smirk at his surroundings just in case his date was in the vicinity. "She's really hot, too! I bet she's a hundred times hotter than yours!"

Sending a rather disgusted look in the Prussian's direction, Roderich answered with a simple sigh and a shake of the head. "Whatever you say," he consented, still seemingly keeping an eye out for the girl he was expecting. "Dare I ask how you even know her, Gilbert? I've never seen you bring any women around my house. I'm sure you'd come over to gloat if you knew one."

Laughing with increased bravado, Gilbert slid a hand inside his coat, practically beside himself with how incredibly awesome the circumstances were. He could just imagine how jealous that priss would be when he showed him the picture of the lady he was meeting! Yes, indeed. The piano-playing pansy would surely go green with envy.

"See for yourself," he snickered, waving the photograph tauntingly before the Austrian's face before practically shoving it into his hand. "Isn't she sexy?! Apparently, your ex-girl has some pretty hot friends! Your date doesn't have a chance against mine!"

Roderich took the photograph and studied it, and his face did indeed change color, normal flesh tone fading into a pale, almost transparent white.

--

Staring at the picture with complete and utter disbelief, the brunet gripped the edges tightly in his fingers, unable to actually register what he was seeing. His and Elizaveta's summer vacation two years previous…they had gone to the beach and he had forgotten to bring his swimsuit. Thus, they had purchased the best they could find at one of the nearby surf shops. At the time, buying such an item had been embarrassing enough, but now that he saw how revealing those pink shorts had been…

Dear god!

"T-T-THIS IS ME, YOU PRESUMPTUOUS DOLT!" Roderich finally cried out in shock, torn completely between fleeing in embarrassment and shouting at Gilbert at the top of his lungs. What was going on?! Elizaveta would have been the only person with access to such a photograph, and she would have had his phone number as well…

Had he been set up by his own ex-wife?!

The Prussian seemed similarly caught off guard. "Wh-what? You?" he asked incredulously, shaking his head as he snatched the photograph back into his own hands. "Yeah, right! There's no way that ass belongs to you!" Red eyes peered at the photograph for a moment, and before Roderich had an opportunity to demand it back, their owner tilted his head to the side and stared disconcertingly at the brunet, eyes gleaming with such intrigue that it practically made the Austrian's skin crawl.

"Wh-what are you doing?" the brunet choked out, inwardly wincing at how squeaky his voice was starting to sound.

"Well…" Trailing off, the Prussian continued his disarming look, appearing somewhat surprised yet not nearly so flustered as his companion. "I'm trying to see if your ass is the one in the photograph."

"E-excuse me?!"

"Well, I mean, come on," Gilbert continued casually in his defense, as if holding a discourse regarding the current state of the weather. "You don't see legs like that every day. I figured I might as well make sure."

"I-I…" Deep red consumed the Austrian's face. Was he being degraded, or flirted with?! He honestly had no idea how to interpret such odd statements.

"W-well I'd appreciate it if you didn't!" he eventually huffed, turning away in a not-so-subtle attempt to hide his blossoming flush. "It's…rude."

"Rude?" Appearing completely thrown off, Gilbert moved a step closer to the brunet. "What do you mean, rude? Don't you know a compliment when you hear one? Geez, you priss, you'd think that'd be included in that fancy vocabulary of yours somewhere!"

"I know what a compliment is!"

The taller male chuckled lowly. "Could've fooled me. Seriously, why don't you get that stick out of your ass and just come over here? We're already at a restaurant. Aren't we supposed to be eating?"

Roderich froze. Eating? That was what the Prussian had on his mind at a time like this?! What about all the comments? The lewd gestures? What did it all mean? Was it all some ploy to embarrass him to the ends of the Earth, or did Gilbert have honest intent behind everything he was saying?

"…together?" he eventually murmured, inwardly wishing his voice didn't sound so high and nervous.

"Well, duh." Gilbert gave a shrug of his silk-clad shoulder, smirking at the other male. "I mean, you're single now, right? And even though you play piano all the time, and clean everything, and dress like a pansy, and use huge words that no one else gets…" The blond set about ticking off fingers for each item on his verbal list, appearing for once to be in serious thought.

"And wear that annoying frilly neck thing all the time, and don't let me put my feet on your coffee table, and-"

"Hey!" Rather certain the conversation had gone in the direction opposite to what one might consider complimenting, Roderich placed his hands on his hips, still half-turned away from the Prussian as he hid his blazing cheeks.

"Enough," he coughed, swallowing dryly with anticipation. "…what's your point?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes as if his point was obvious, and their eyes met, Roderich gazing back over his shoulder with obvious embarrassment and apprehension.

"I never said I didn't like you."

Violet eyes went enormously wide. What? WHAT? Had he just heard what he thought he had?! Roderich gasped in complete and utter disbelief, never having felt so tongue-tied in his entire life.

"Come on, Specs, let's go get some chow before they make us wait in line. And don't do that stupid thing where you tuck your napkin into your shirt."

Mutely following the hand tugging at his lapel, the brunet simply stared straight ahead, an odd, unreasonable smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He screamed mentally at the inexplicable twitch, brain going haywire. What was that for?! He hated that Prussian bastard, honestly! How could anyone not dislike the man who ruined his house on a daily basis, flirted with his ex-wife, made lewd comments regarding his…well…

Seriously, he hated him.

…didn't he?

As a hand grabbed at his own whilst he was tugged through the crowd, a tiny, tiny part of Roderich admitted that perhaps he didn't hate Gilbert quite so badly after all.

--

--

Elizaveta couldn't help but cackle softly to herself, amused at the scene before her eyes. Yes, the day had started out normally. Roderich at his piano, playing as he always did as she herself finished some work around the house. However, the mere sounds that had emanated from the Austrian's bedroom door the night before had alerted her to the fact that this day was going to be the first of many in Roderich's new life.

"Get off of me, you blasted ruffian!" Said brunet was currently struggling upon his piano bench, attempting to free his person of the taller male that seemed intent on bothering him. "I'm trying to play my piano!"

"Well, that's too bad, isn't it?" gloated his Prussian assaulter, taking his own seat on the bench and grabbing at the Austrian as if trying to get him into his arms. "I'm hungry."

"You already ate an entire pie! What more could you possibly want?!"

"…I could think of a few things."

"What are you….hey! S-stop touching me there!"

The Hungarian snickered from her vantage point, placing a hand over her mouth. Camcorder gripped tightly between her fingers, Elizaveta peered through it at the goings-on, grinning despite herself.

"I t-told you to stop it!" Foreign hands gripping at his waist, Roderich let out a soft, embarrassed groan, swallowing and lowering his voice at the grinning Prussian. "I'll never understand you…" he eventually murmured, turned his head away. A flush broke out over his cheeks, and it was all Elizaveta could do to keep from squealing out in girlish delight.

"What's to understand?" Gilbert raised a blond brow. "Other than the fact that I'm sexy and you totally know it."

"I-I most certainly do not!"

"Liar. Come here."

"Leave me b-ohh…mmph…"

It was obvious that Roderich couldn't keep his guard up for long. Violet eyes fluttering, he leaned in to the soft kiss with visible hesitancy, only to let out a noise of surrender and grip onto the Prussian's jacket with both hands. Seemingly satisfied, Gilbert reached towards the Austrian and slid his arms around his waist, rubbing and caressing as he went.

A somewhat louder moan rang out, and Elizaveta promptly decided that such a scene was far too significant to be recorded with such a small and unfocused video camera.

Cheeks flushed, the Hungarian woman fled to her bedroom to retrieve a more reliable camcorder, green eyes large and purposeful. She hadn't hoped in her wildest dreams that their relationship would get progress so quickly! Surely, someone up there favored her. God, even the noises they were making…

"G-Gilbert…"

Instantaneously refusing to miss out on any more of what seemed to be escalating at an incredible rate, Elizaveta immediately resumed her position in the doorway, just in time to watch as a particular ruffled article of clothing was thrown savagely to the carpet. The woman brightened, eagerly spying in on the passionate scene of kissing, touching and what she would certain would soon escalate into full-blown action. To the Hungarian, it was apparent that her ex-husband had finally found that passion he had been looking for.

Oh yes, she thought, a grin spreading over her face.

Her plan had worked well, indeed.

--

**The End!**

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End file.
